Flash Fiction #2 – Date with Death

Writing.Prompt.s (Instagram) – A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. 

I check my bag again. Wire, cheese wire to be specific, with wooden handles in the first pocket. Duct tape, and a bin liner in the third. Purse, keys and my Urban Decay in Venom lipstick in the second – middle – pocket. It’s a dark purple. I haven’t put it on yet. My bag is just a handbag. Nothing special. Nothing expensive. Nothing I mind getting blood on, and then dumping. New though, so it shouldn’t have my DNA in it. Purse is also new. Keys are in a plastic baggie. More plastic baggies in the middle pocket, just in case.

I’m stood outside the restaurant. You can’t really call it a restaurant. It’s a Nando’s. It’s a thing unto itself. I do love a Nando’s though. I’ll have to get something I can eat with a knife and fork. Can’t have Piri Piri fingers leaving a mess at the scene. My scene. The thought sends a shiver up my spine. I’m excited. Not just for the murder. For my date as well. I know he’s going to be tall; I’ve seen his bio. And we’ve talked a little bit about where we spend our time. Mainly work. Mainly late-night walks. His favourite tv series is Wire in the Blood. It gave me the idea for the cheese wire in the first place.

In my coat pocket are my thick leather gloves. They’re men’s, and a little too big for me. Hopefully I won’t have to lend them to him. I’m also wearing flats. I hope he doesn’t mind. I went on a date with a guy once and he made a nasty comment about me looking wider in flat shoes. My profile photo is me in heels. I left it three weeks, which is a personal best, before I broke into his house and skewered his testicles and his eyes. He was found three days later, because no one gave a shit enough to visit him sooner.

Prick.

My date arrives and he is tall, which is a relief. He’s got big hands too. I imagine them holding the wooden ends of my cheese wire and feel a bit giddy. A bit shaky. He seems timid though. He goes to kiss me in a greeting and panics. Pulls away so it looks like he’s bowing to me awkwardly. Never mind. Hopefully it’s just first date nerves.

We’re led in, given menus and chicken. I’ve no idea what to order. He talks me through the menu like a child, and I can’t decide if it’s sweet or not. I go for sweet. It’s safer for him. I think about the lipstick in my handbag and decide it was a good idea not to go for it. It might put him off. Everything about him is softly spoken, reflective, and he uses words he must have read in books because he’s saying them wrong.

I get up and order my dinner. Chicken wrap – I’ll pull it apart with my knife and fork – rice, halloumi and a bottomless drink. I’ll need my energy. He gets a chicken burger. Chips. Mild sauce. I don’t know how to feel about this.

Back at our table, I ask him what he does. He’s a writer. I ask what kind. He shrugs. Ghost writer. Works on murder mystery books for a company that supplies bigger named writers with new stories. FBI agents. Big explosions. Poisoned coffee and deep psychopathy.

My disappointment is tangible. He feels it as deeply as I do. A lightbulb has burst for me, whilst his barely flickers. He doesn’t know. Not yet. I start to pray the chicken is brought to us quickly before he can realise.

He asks what I do. I lie. Dentist. It’s what a friend said to say if you want a date to end quickly. But he’s interested. Am I private or NHS? Cosmetic or general? He knows more about dentistry than I do, and I’m starting to think he doesn’t believe me when – finally – our chicken arrives, and I can stop talking and start shovelling.

He brings up Wire in the Blood. Says he wants to write a series as good as that. That he’s been researching serial killers. Murders. Real, local crimes. I nod. Make a joke about having a passing fascination with the same things. He’s not convinced. The lightbulb is flickering more so now.

He asks how I spend my free time. We’ve mentioned it briefly over the website we met on. But I can’t remember whether I gave an honest answer. I make a joke about killing people. He doesn’t laugh. He finishes his chicken and looks at me. Asks me if I want to hang out after. I wipe my mouth; still glad I didn’t choose the dark lipstick. I’ve got hand sanitiser in my other coat pocket.  I squeeze more than I need to cover both my hands and rub it in over my wrists as well.

I’ve still not given him an answer. He seems genuinely keen though. And maybe this’ll be good for his next book.

Okay. I agree. But only if he promises not to scream.

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Medusa’s Epic

I.
My family are immortal,
Born of Titans and sea.
My family are all monsters.
All, except for me.
My father is a creature with
Crab claws, a merman’s tail.
I have soft hands, soft features.
I am mortal. I am frail.
My mother is a goddess,
Her hair smells of sea and salt.
She has the strength of the ocean
And my beauty is her fault.
My sisters are both giants.
Their names mean strength and brawn
But my name means protection.
A curse to do me harm.
My brother is a dragon,
Full of venom and spite.
He’ll coil around his apple tree
And kill you with one bite.
Our name, Gorgon, means terrible.
But for me it isn’t true.
My hair is golden sunsets.
My eyes the deep sea blue.
My family are all monsters,
Nightmares in the dark.
Creatures of legend and myth.
Whilst I am beyond remark.
.
.
II.
My childhood clouds in mystery.
No one cared about my strife
I spent my time in solitude,
An isolated life.
At the utmost point of the mountain
is where I made my home.
My sisters rarely visited.
For the most I was alone.
I gazed upon the vale,
Watching the lives of little men
Thinking of the life I could have had,
If I’d been born as one of them.
But the fates had a plan for me
Which drew me down the tor.
They had a plan to destroy me,
To reveal the venom at my core.
I’d venture from my home sometimes,
To revel alongside mankind.
Amongst the drunken throng, you see,
Anonymity I would find.
No one saw my golden hair,
My face hidden in a mask.
To laugh and sing and dance to songs
Was my only happy task.
But a mid-June Panthenaia
Was where Poseidon spotted me.
Amidst Athena’s temple
He tore my dress with glee.
.
.
III.
I might have had a chance,
If I had been a titan.
If I’d had claws and a tail,
And the strength of a great python.
He kissed me harsh and fiercely
Freezing skin and bone.
Whilst cried for my mother.
Wished that I’d stayed home.
When Poseidon had filled the cup
And spilt mine on the floor
He left me crying, a sorry state,
Wanting me no more.
Athena understood me,
Because Athena is so wise.
She saw the anger in my stare
And burnt the venom on my thighs.
Athena gave me a choice,
To stay a mortal-torn.
Or curse me with a power which
Would make me a titan reborn.
If I had been a titan,
I might have had a chance.
So I accepted Athena’s gift to
Be able kill a man with a glance.
My golden hair recoiled,
Snakes sprung from my head.
Now anyone who touched me,
Would end up stone cold dead.
.
.
IV.
Perseus was a hero,
His start the same as mine.
His mother was a mortal,
But his father was divine.
Zeus, brother of my rapist,
Came to Danae one evening.
He showered her with soft kisses
In the form of a golden spring.
But King Acrisius of Argos
Had heard his fortune told
And believed Danae’s son would kill him
Before he could grow old.
When he learned Danae was pregnant,
He threw her in the sea.
Rescued by another king’s brother,
And as a hero raised to be.
King Polydectes fell in love with Danae,
But Perseus forbid their match.
The king would not give up easily,
And a plot began to hatch.
For the marriage of Hippodamia
He called people to bring offerings.
But for the horse tamer’s stable
Perseus could provide nothing.
Perseus was ashamed,
Unable to do his best.
So the King gave a command
And my head became his quest.
.
.
V.
I brought many men to ruin.
I was a formidable foe.
I was finally a monster
My family cared to know.
Rumours spread of my appearance
Many called it “punishment”.
But I knew Athena, wise Athena,
As only benevolent.
My appearance was grotesque,
I could turn men to stone.
And had I ever wanted,
I could have taken every throne.
I think Athena knew this.
She knew I’d never yield.
So when Perseus came for me,
She gave him a bronze shield.
Perseus fought bravely.
Fearless. Like a soldier.
And he swept that fatal blow
Took my head clean from my shoulders.
From my neck sprung my children
In a golden river flood.
Pegasus and Chrysaor
Of God and Gorgon blood.
Perseus took my head in a bag,
Carried it to his king.
Whilst Polydectes plotted revenge
Unaware of my continued sting.
.
.
VI.
Perseus was a hero
Everyone knew it to be true.
Having slain an evil monster,
His glory only grew.
He returned to Polydectes
Via Ethiopia
Plagued by Poseidon was this place
Full of drowning screams of fear.
For Poseidon had been insulted
And punished with fierce cruelty.
And only Andromeda could win the day
By sacrificing her beauty.
A story which sounds familiar
Yet she retains her fame.
Because rather than fight back, instead,
She let Perseus take the blame.
He killed a fearsome sea creature
He turned it to cold stone.
Then Andromeda’s father
Offered Perseus a home.
All the while I hung there,
My hair tangled in his hands.
Never getting the glory,
For saving those dry lands.
Athena took my head back
Placed me on her shield.
As a reminder to all women
Of the power that we wield.
.
.

Flash Fiction: #1

642 Things to Write About: Prompt:

You walk into your bedroom and discover someone going through your drawers.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked, leaning against the wooden doorframe. Terry was outlined by the falling light through the curtains, his hands wedged firmly in the top drawer of my chest of four.

‘Nothing,’ he said, his eyes opening wide and his face paling. His hands remained in the drawer.

‘Do you really think I’d hide it there?’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Terry replied, finally releasing the shirts he’d been rummaging through and closing the drawer.

‘I wouldn’t leave your present just anywhere for you to stumble across it, now, would I?’ I laughed, coming over and wrapping my arms around his waist.

‘So, you have got me a present?’

‘Of course. Ten years we’ve been married, did you think I’d forget?’

Terry rolled his eyes at me.

‘What is it?’

‘I’m still not telling.’ I shifted to release his waist, but he pulled my arms back around him, locking me in with his thicker, tanned arms wrapping around my back.

‘Tell me. I hate surprises.’

This was true. Terry hated surprises. He’d said as much on our first date which, really, when you thought about it, was a terrible idea.

‘When have you ever hated a surprise from me?’ I joked, feeling my laughter press my chest against his. We were the same height, but he was wider across the shoulders than me. Hairier than me. I was greyer.

‘There’s always a first.’ His eyes looked sad the moment it escaped his mouth. We released each other and stepped back. I moved to my side of the bed and pretended I’d come in for a book that was sitting on my side table.

‘Dinner will be done in ten,’ I muttered.

‘James… I didn’t mean…’

‘I know what you meant,’ I said with a half-smile. ‘I’ll see you downstairs in ten.’

Terry was still stood by the chest of drawers when I walked out of the bedroom.

Why do you do what you do?

I guess, as I’m technically asking myself this question, it would be a bit of a cop-out to say ‘because I love it’. Though I do, and I always have enjoyed; writing, editing, conversing, blogging, reading, and everything that connects those dots together.

It’s just become more obvious to me the more I’ve been layered and layered with jobs and writing-related stress.

Today I did a workshop with the Metis – Ashford and Folkestone Network for women in business. I was, unsurprisingly, really nervous about it. How can I explain to people – in only half an hour – how to get the most out of their blog? How do I dare when this is my current shop front? I’ve had blogs in the past that have done really well (and others that haven’t). What if I’m not as good as I think I am? What if I’m a fraud?

Turns out – everyone has those fears. Everyone is trying to do their best. This shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did highlight the amount of pressure I feel to be the ‘voice of authority’ when it comes to blogging. Which is stupid – for the simple reason I AM an authority when it comes to blogging because of years of experience, my client track record, my statistics and my research.

Of course, you never know you know something until someone reminds you.

I went to AccessxHelenAnderz last week at Hoxton Hall. I’ve been to a few workshops on Youtube and blogging, and this was – in my ever so humble opinion – one of the best. Helen Anderson introduced herself in a humble/hustling hard kind of way which was fresh and authentic. She didn’t teach anyone in the room to ‘suck eggs’ or ever assume that people were too stupid to understand her. She was friendly, fun and informed.

Now I ghost write for other people, I wanted to make sure I was evoking that same kind of reaction.

I started with a little game, asking people in pairs to tell an anecdote. Telling them they had three minutes to explain the anecdote. I then gave them 45 seconds and cut in.

“Not everyone is going to have time to read everything. And you’re fighting against the noise around you. You’ve got to make sure your blog stands out.” – And away I went. We talked about types of blog, types of content, types of audience. And I ran over my half an hour easily – even though I’d skipped two slides so I could leave time for questions! I hope Helen Anderz doesn’t mind that I quoted her directly – “If you’ve got a voice or a message, you’ll find an audience.” I just felt, for these brilliant businesswomen, it was the perfect take away.

I was asked at the end, “what is your favourite quote?” (and maybe that’s what this blog post should have been called.

My response:- Shia LaBeouf, “Just do it.” I wanted to make people laugh. When you’re laughing, you’re relaxed and open to new things. And that’s what I wanted to share with them.

I really enjoyed sharing my knowledge and experience with women with their own keen business understanding. Plus it helped that I was told at the end how “amiable, and well presented” I was. How professional. How enthusiastic. I couldn’t stop grinning the whole way home.

So why do I do what I do? Because I love it, for all the reasons above and more.

Why do authors prefer a quiet place when they are writing something?

There are a lot of stereotypes about authors being reclusive and introverted. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from my years of studying Creative Writing as a craft it is this:

They are all true, but not for the reasons you think.

You see, for new/amateur writers, a blank page can be really daunting. It’s a white void. But for someone who has a bit more experience taming this particular barren landscape, a blank page can carry enough excitement to carry you forwards way past 10, 40, 80,000 words. How does this relate to quiet? Well, it’s hard for me to avoid cliches here, but just know it’s so I can convey how I see the blank page as a writer. For me, it’s a canvas and I’m trying to paint a new world on it. It might be fictitious, fantastical, or more familiar – but it has to be clear in my mind and my readers’. The blank page gives me all the freedom I need to create this world, but I’m surrounded by other elements that can affect it. Most of these elements are sounds and distractions.

Some writer’s like to work in silence because it allows them to focus in on their creation and develop their world from this clean slate/blank canvas. Others don’t. It’s not uncommon to find a writer in a coffee shop or somewhere busy working on their manuscript. I even enjoy writing to specific playlists. If I’m working on a particularly dark scene, I like to listen to the soundtrack from Inception on Spotify. When I’ve got my historical head on, I prefer a bit of Einaudi.

But not everyone is going to appreciate me flicking between songs to find the right mood as I write, so I’ve got my noise-canceling headphones at the ready. (Sometimes, I’m not even playing music, I just don’t want to work in my office alone but can’t afford to be distracted). A quiet place doesn’t have to be silent.

The second reason, though arguably more important, is that authors prefer a quiet place to write is because they are working. One of my lecturers described a writing career as akin to Wuthering Heights.

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“You’re bringing this feral child home, this nomad lifestyle of writing and locking yourself away. Your family will not understand. They’ll think it’s a hobby or a waste of time. Because everyone knows you can’t get paid for writing.”

– Lucy English, Bath Spa University.

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So a quiet place gives you the freedom to create without feeling like you need to justify the time you’re committing to your writing. People always look impressed that I’m studying an MA, up until the moment I tell them it’s for Creative Writing. Everyone thinks they can write, which is great. I don’t want to disparage anyone from that. But writing is a lot like playing a musical instrument. You can have a dabble and you might get a few good sounds out of it. But it’s the commitment that’ll develop it into something beautiful. And for that, I need a quiet place, without judgy faces or questioning expressions.

Me, my quiet place, and my blank canvas.